


Attention Whore

by MagicQuill42



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Feelings of Inadequacy, bullet fic, negative self-talk, not sleeping, sympathic Deceit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicQuill42/pseuds/MagicQuill42
Summary: Bit of a vent, bit of a realization of why it makes perfect sense that the creative side craves attention the most.Of course Roman was the ego. Of course he was. It made sense that the side who was so involved with Thomas' career was so tied to his self worth as well. Roman just wished it didn't impact his own self worth as well.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Though it can be read either way tbh, its pretty ambigious
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	Attention Whore

**Author's Note:**

> Your final warning that this is a vent fic.

-It all starts with the most ingenious, fantastic idea that Roman’s ever had  
-A painting of his beautiful castle, so that the others can finally see it the way he does  
-He pours his heart and soul into it before finally deeming it ready  
-Thunders down the stairs with paint still scrubbed on one side of his nose and holds it up to them proudly!  
-Look! His masterpiece!!  
-…  
-“…that’s nice Roman.”  
-“Looks Pretty kiddo”  
-A thumbs up  
-Then they go back to what they’d been doing before.  
-Roman’s face falls a little and he trudged back up to his room.  
-He sets the painting against the wall and looks at it  
-Really looks at it  
-And winces.  
-On a second viewing… this is no masterpiece after all  
-It’s childish and sloppy, every inch of it screaming that he’s new to painting freehanded.  
-No masterpiece after all…  
-Well that’s alright! He’ll just… he’ll paint something else! He’ll make a true work of art, this time showing… the fairy forests! Oh yes, that one will get him the smiles he loves for certain!  
-So he starts. And he paints. And paints and paints and paints until the whole day and the next has gone by before finally!! It’s done!  
-Much like before, he runs downstairs to the others and shows them his work of art! Look at how magnificent this is! Surely this is a masterpiece, yes?  
…  
-“I suppose it looks adequate.”  
-“The fairies are cute!”  
-Another thumbs up  
-…  
-Roman gives them all a tight smile before heading back to his room.  
-Adequate  
-Cute  
-Another thumbs up.  
-…it’s not enough for him. Why why why isnt that enough for him??  
-He sighs, runs a hand through his hair and thinks. He thinks long and hard about what will Well and truly wow them!  
-Maybe it’s just that they have trouble with paintings! Or that he’s not the best at them. Logan liked that Sherlock story, right? So he just needs to write something extraordinary to blow them away!  
-…he’s fully aware that he’s just doing this for attention but if he were good enough he would already have that attention, right??  
-Right. So it’s time to buckle down and write.  
-He spends the next two days working on a magnificent play in which the fairies are plotting to overtake the throne but a quick-witted and charismatic changling shows them all a compromise and restores order. Perfectly tailored to all their desires!  
-He gives it to the others and waits.  
-…it’s two days before he asks them what they thought of it.  
-“Oh it was good.”  
-“Enjoyable.”  
-Thumbs up.  
-Roman goes back to his room and feels like shattering.  
-Nothing’s good enough. Nothing he does is good enough for more than a thumbs up.  
-He collapses onto his bed, defeated and exhausted.  
-After sleeping the afternoon away (lazy bum) he gets the idea to just… try again. Put a little more effort into it. Really really push himself to make something great.  
-He stretches and sits at his desk to brainstorm and write.  
-…he doesn’t get back up again for three days, not that he notices time passing through all the shouting in his head (not good enough, not grand enough, not perfect enough!!)  
-It isn’t until a hand gently places itself over his own that he’s even able to focus on something that’s not his desk.  
-He raises his head to look at the hand’s owner and it takes him a second to fully register the yellow eye looking at him in concern.  
-“Dee?” He croaks, voice rusted from not using it in a few days. “Sorry, didn’t hear you come in… I’m a little busy right now, but we can-“  
-He’s cut off by Deceit running a hand through his greasy, unwashed, and unkempt hair. Roman lets out a small wimper despite himself.  
-“You’re doing amazing Roman,” Deceit says softly. “But you can’t continue to be amazing like this. Come on to bed.”  
-He shouldn’t. Deceit could be lying. Probably is lying.  
-But oh how good it feels to be told he’s amazing. To be praised even for just something small.  
-“Okay,” he whispers before he can stop himself, a small tear leaking out of his eye.  
-Deceit guides him to bed gently, even climbing in first and letting Roman slump tiredly against his chest. Dee’s hand finds its way into his hair again and Roman might cry at the amount of tenderness he’s receiving.  
-“‘M sorry,” he whispers after a minute. “‘M sorry, I just wanted attention. I just-“  
-Deceit shushes him gently and uses a free hand to rub his back. “I know, Roman. I know.”  
-“If I weren’t such an attention whore-“  
-“Don’t call yourself that.” Deceit interrupts firmly. “You make works of art. They deserve to be praised and you deserve to feel like they’ve been praised.”  
-Roman sniffles and curls closer to Dee. He doesn’t know if they’re lies or truths but the words are comforting all the same.  
-And there, in the arms of those pretty lies, he can finally rest.


End file.
